The art of “living well”, being happy and comfortable in one’s body as well as in one’s mind, is the priority subject of blogs and other sources of information, focused on personal development.
We also find a bit of everything and anything, especially when trying to define happiness.
Why be so critical, you may ask?
Well, the reason is simple: being happy does not mean the same for all.
Our goals, our needs, our desires and our level of appreciation of the same factor differ.
How could we then give a structured and precise definition of an item for which we fight all our life, but that we still have trouble to identify when it is presented?
So what if happiness was, in reality, a dirty word, a basket in which we shove anything that bears the slightest resemblance to positive emotions?
This is what brings me now to reflect on the scope of what being happy involve.
1. Be happy by building a conciliatory mood
Given that the real difficulty lies in the updating of an objective definition of happiness, here I am looking for elements that could, in my opinion, bring you to a daily and lasting psychological appeasement.
Among these first factors enabling to “live happily”, your interpretation of outsiders elements seems to be one of the most important.
Where the grayness, discontent, and contradiction are traditionally the rule, why not trying to grow your optimism?
I have shared this thought in another article, but I think it is useful to note here that your psychological state is built and evolves according to the interactions that you develop with your environment.
It would not be wholly meaningless to postulate that solely deciding to “be happy today”, your day truly takes place in the best of ways.
It is all about perception.
By persuading yourself that no source of negativity can reach you, you provide your mind a filter, allowing you to focus only on the little details that will give you the impression of living happily.
If this determination to make out of joy and contentment a daily attitude will be widely questioned on the long-term; it does not hurt to try!
2. To be happy: happiness is not an ogre!
To the question, “do you feel happy?” Many would give an answer imprinted of hesitation and doubt. Why? Quite naturally, because happiness is an overused term, especially in our time.
The search for perfection is one of the main psychological limitations that man must face.
Competition, profitability, performance, it is hard to make room for the joy of living and well-being, in a stressful environment that put a heavy burden on the perpetual demonstration of one’s potential.
Objectively, we tend to think we can always improve something, being happier, whatever the area concerned (financial, social, professional).
We all have gaps and shortcomings.
However, this question can be turned, manipulated to make you understand that your life is far from being so sad and gray as it seems.
What would you reply if I asked you to formulate some factors that “make you happy”?
You would dig your mind and probably would share with me a list of small details, events or feelings that define for you the feel of the “good life”.
The latter has a name: the personal satisfaction.
It is for me the decisive factor, which is closest to the idea we have of happiness.
Being satisfied is being happy.
The most beautiful in all of this is that the personal satisfaction can be found everywhere and often came from the most insignificant gestures.
So, what if living well, was only taking pleasure by sharing a meal with one’s friends? If being happy, was (in part) playing a football match on Sunday afternoon or watching one’s favorite show?
What if the fact of collapsing on one’s sofa after returning from work, or being congratulated by one’s supervisor after working hard, constitute evidence of your personal fulfillment?
That is something to put the traditional view “big dog, big car, big house” in question, right?
Being happy only makes sense, the one that you feel suit you!
3. Being happy by living free
It seems that to be happy, one must develop a set of reflexes, qualities that would free oneself from the eyes of others to fully live our choices by assuming responsibilities.
Among these provisions inherent to “living well”, it appears then judicious to quote self-esteem, self-confidence, and objectivity.
Indeed, to be aware of and appreciate the true value of any change in our life, we need to separate it from what your environment may think.
The self-esteem allows you in this context to give its full dimension to your personality, to recognize your potential and not to minimize the appearance of satisfaction.
Every small source of happiness is deserved because it stems from your ability to recognize the right to enjoy it.
Self-confidence is the cornerstone of personal affirmation. It allows you to exceed yourself, not to doubt your ability to meet the challenges that present themselves to you on a daily basis and gives you the courage to take assumed decisions and full of meaning.
Lastly, objectivity is the basis of your own conception of what being happy means. It is the tool of choice allowing you not to place too much importance on the judgments issued by your environment and to question the impact of values and myths that it diffuses to your personality.
Your freedom to think, to formulate opinions and beliefs participate widely to your personal fulfillment and enable you to decide what living happy means to you.
Happiness is a conception that does not truly make sense in that it is malleable, adaptable, transformable according to your personality and expectations.
To try too much to define it on a global scale, we finally let it pass away.
So, I would like to end this reflection by a simple question for you, being happy, is it a utopia or a real life choice?