Charisma is a vague concept, which many think they can define, but which remains, in fact, the privilege of very few individuals.
Contrary to what most people believe, we are not born charismatic, impressive, or endowed with social skills.
All this is acquired with time, experience and ongoing ability to question oneself through introspection.
People who are perceived as charismatic have an easy contact, a credible voice and a confident attitude.
Their legitimacy is rarely challenged, and their well-being is evident.
The question that arises then is, how to develop this asset in a personal way to make it a character trait that can be exploited to strengthen self-esteem and soothe one’s psychology.
1. Charisma as a daily psychological disposition
We could take inspiration from the animal world to define what charisma is. Indeed, observing most mammals operating in social groups, we see that there is always a “dominant” which emerges from the collection.
It is the one called the Alpha. Its presence and the respect it inspires makes it a clear leader as the other members follow and imitate, to the point of constantly work to satisfy it, impress it.
The primary features designed to create a charismatic image are rationality and emotional detachment. Charisma seems to arise from a propensity to place one’s own needs and desires ahead of those of others.
Selfishness? Maybe. But, do not they say that to love someone else you should know to appreciate yourself?
When you think about it, most of our feelings, even the ones we feel towards other individuals, are due to the way they affect our own psychology (we like to be with our friends because they allow us to feel at ease, for example).
The psychological detachment is the ability not to dwell on the interpersonal issues that arise from our operating mode and our reactions.
The charisma is somehow a paroxysm of self-confidence: we are serene, whatever may think the other entities operating in our environment. So the gaze of others does not matter.
2. The charism as a thirst for new challenges
To the question, “how to develop charisma? “I will answer very simply.
Wherever a shy and withdrawn person hesitates, comes up with questions and eventually renounces to take the slightest risk for fear of failure, a charismatic person moves forward and takes great delight of adversity.
It is a way to prove his worth, to his eyes first, and then to his environment.
Is the charism made only of success? No, not necessarily. However, it allows drawing lessons from each failure, to improve, and to become more efficient.
Failure is not always negative, provided that you know how to incorporate the lessons that we pull from it in the construction of our personality.
To become charismatic, there are not 36 solutions: you have to want it and accept its risks.
The determination plays a major role in shaping your personality. You must operate on instinct, follow your desires, even if your reason seems to hold you.
3. The charism as challenging to the personal limitations
To achieve liberation from the judgments of others, to assert your personality and thereby maintain your charisma, you should start by questioning your natural desire for obtaining the collective endorsement or making a “good impression”.
Nothing forces you to respect the psychological limits set by the influence of your environment. Fight your complex, whatever they are, by taking your responsibilities.
Have you trouble speaking in public? Call a specialist coach or follow theater classes.
Be proud of who you are and your background. The value of a person is not defined by the perception of its environment but by its ability to assume himself.
Your best asset to become charismatic is your ability to believe in yourself, to find motivation in adversity and not crashing in front of it.
We can overcome our fears by confronting them!
You understand, charisma is not a quality we possess or we miss, it is a way of life, a course of action that can flourish and be assertive.
Your charism is there somewhere in you, and it is your responsibility to expose it to the world!