Who says social life and interactions with the environment often says apprehension regarding what the outside world may think of us. We all fear the judgment of others.
After all we try, throughout our lives, to demonstrate our good manners to the rest of society, no?
Who does not think about how we will perceive him in the morning when he dresses, speaks in public or meet strangers?
This fear of not being up to it, to be seen as unable to adapt to a defined framework, create in many people social anxiety.
But, why give so much value to the others’ judgment?
Why do you limit your choices or opinions by fearing what people will say?
That is a question you should ask yourself if you want to live your life like you mean it and free yourself from the judgment of others.
1. The judgment of others is only an appearance
Before thinking to influence the judgment of others, ask yourself this: Am I the focus of my environment?
My person is so important that every individual that I will cross today will issue a judgment about me?
The aim is of course not to erode your confidence, but to make you realize that like any other person, you are only a small part of a much larger whole.
Thus, an error, a nonsense or another awkwardness will not be analyzed, decorticated or mocked for months or years.
So it is true, for 5 minutes, a day, a week. One could talk about you, but this will stop there.
Remember that all people you meet have their own concerns, their own priorities and indeed this same apprehension to not appear to be formatted to the mold that frames their social environment.
Do not see this as an incentive to feel less important, on the contrary, it is the way to feel freer!
Personally I have never been comfortable to speak in public for example.
In college, I hated the presentations and other demonstrations of this type …
The first minutes were always hesitant.
My voice quivered, and my paper seemed unreadable.
And then one day, the inevitable happened.
A student asked me a trap question about a point that I had just developed.
Panicked, I regained my breath, before I realized that she had heard nothing of my development.
My answer was short and to my surprise, appreciated by the audience.
I replied that if he had paid attention to my speech she would never have to ask me that question.
Uproar in the classroom, applauses. Even my teacher laughed then.
All this to say to you that no, the reactions against you are neither fixed nor predictable. So it is needless to focus thereupon.
Remember that in the mind of peoples who could issue a personal judgment against you, you are only a secondary character, the main protagonist is often themselves.
2. The judgment of others and personal judgments have the same value
Being adapted by nature I often accorded more importance to negative criticisms than to compliments that we could say to me. Why?
Because, like everyone I wanted to please my neighbor.
However, objectivity is precisely this ability that everyone can give unequal importance to any comments received.
So no, we are not less than nothing if we make a mistake, and even less, living gods if we meet success.
The feelings that are linked to these criticisms (disappointment, sadness, or rather excitement and joy) must not be disproportionate.
After all, the critics are addressed to us in a particular context and often have no legitimacy to apply to the whole of our personality.
Thinking about it allows greatly relativizing the fear of others’ judgment, in that it can only influence a small part of your existence.
Here is something, to help you not to pay more attention than that, on judgments issued against you.
3. Enhance your personal judgment!
The real question you should ask yourself relies on the direction of your life and the building of your personality.
Do you want to become a formatted product by your environment or have an identity that differentiates you from the rest of the mass?
If your vote goes to personal freedom, you will obviously have to boost your confidence, and learn to forgive yourself to evolve without fear of judgment.
That said, we do not easily freed from the fear of what other will think of us.
Here is a tool that may allow you to limit the psychological effect:
The emotional diary:
The emotional diary will serve you as a support, so you do not forget that you are a valuable person.
Every day for at least a week, you will write on it, your progress, your successes, your positive thoughts (you know the importance of positivism) or just a few things that you appreciate about yourself.
It may sound pretentious, but this diary will help you through the tough times.
When the pressure is too intense, you can read the few lines that you wrote, to realize that the judgment of others does not matter.
4. Match your personal judgments with your emotions
The first reflex to be adopted to limit the negative personal judgments about you is, of course, to avoid yourself being too quick to issue an opinion on other individuals.
To error is human and you can not please everyone.
However, by demonstrating a minimum of understanding and sympathy, you will avoid the wrath of your social circle once you find yourself in a weak position, relativizing the scope of the gaze of others.
Simple matter of logic, but noteworthy.
Before laughing at someone, ask yourself how you would react in the same situation and try to assimilate you to that person.
Quickly you will be taken to compassion and change your way of seeing things.
This method will allow you to lower your psychological barrier, and will allow you to be less hard on yourself when you make your self-criticism, which will improve your self-esteem.
5. Know to relativize the judgment of others
Too many are the people who feel alive by issuing judgments about others, and it is not the individual as such that they attack directly.
This process allows them at first and foremost, to give importance to themselves and to release anger and frustration related to events that often have no direct connection with you.
In short, someone who criticizes you does not address you as a person, but as a lambda person in the way of an outlet.
These same individuals seek only the satisfaction of their need for recognition towards their environment by attacking an individual in a week position or who do not share their vision.
They are looking for collective approval.
The criticism is then more a phenomenon that finds explanations in the personality of its author than the intended target.
The judgment of others often reflects their own insecurity and desire for recognition.
Why in this context merely try to meet the judgment of others?
Considering what others think of us, is to limit our ability to grow and live life as we hear.
A choice that you will regret the time to take stock of your life. Fortunately, it is never too late to change!