Ah, tolerance. A big word behind which an ability is hidden to bend his will to achieve perfection.
A quality that is sometimes difficult to express to the players of our social sphere, it is even more to ourselves.
Balance sheet, it is sometimes difficult to forgive ourselves.
Why ? Because we secretly still hoping for more, hoping to have better results and that, whatever the situation.
Each has that little voice that lies dormant in him and tells him he can always do better, go even further.
However, must he listen to this small horned demon? Or, should he know to be satisfied with the road already traveled and allow one’s compassion? Forgive oneself, is it crime?
Many are people who set themselves almost unachievable goals, claiming that they draw from it motivation and determination to move forward.
I advocate, on the contrary, self-satisfaction and taking into account the environment in which I grow to analyze my potential objectively.
In short, I’ll explain to you why you should not be too hard on yourself and how the fact of learning to forgive yourself can improve your life, drastically.
1. Know how to forgive yourself: a reconsideration of pressure
If always expecting more of yourself can effectively have a positive effect on your motivation and your ability to achieve your goals both professional and personal, it also dramatically impacts your confidence.
A person adopting such mindset may indeed never be satisfied with the benefits obtained, even if the latter are recognized as outstanding.
Happiness linked to the performance and achievement of objectives disappears gradually, to give way to frustration and the feeling of not being live up to the expectations.
Too much pressure kills the pleasure of achievement, causes rigor and prevents the individual to forgive his failures.
It is one of the perverse effects of the phenomenon described above: the more you demand of yourself, the less you can achieve fulfillment in front of adversity, pushing you inexorably toward mediocrity due to a lack of self-esteem.
Your ability to focus on your work decreases substantially, as to become what you despise the most: a follower of self-sufficiency (quite different from self-satisfaction that it derives from the material realization of your goals).
The ability to forgive yourself in turn allows for rethinking this negative trend by focusing not on the expected results, but on the process of their achievement.
2. The ability to forgive yourself is primarily a state of mind
The personal tolerance is a psychological disposition, so it requires a profound challenge to your standards.
Start by asking yourself where do you get this tendency to be as demanding to yourself. Is it due to your home environment? Is it the pressure of your job?
Whatever the answer, you can not let your environment affect your self-esteem.
We live in the real world, and you are not a hero of a sitcom or a comic. The hopes that you base on your abilities must be realistic.
Injustice is a rule, and we do not always get what we deserve. We should recognize it and forgive our inability to achieve perfection.
Why then insist on thinking otherwise? Keep in mind that failure is nothing but one aspect of your learning and not necessarily to question your potential. After all, we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes.
It is, therefore, conceivable to take into account these errors of career and integrate them into a wider reflection, allowing you to evolve in front of the diversity of situations.
3. Forgive yourself by knowing how to reward yourself
When you deal with a challenge, you can not focus on the obligation of result, or performance.
Achieving a personal goal, whatever it is, is based on a complex process decomposed into several stages.
In my case, for example, writing an article requires first a search for information, a classification of these latter, an analysis of their relevance to the subject, and a shaping of the final rendering.
Thus, finding an interesting subject and coherent pieces of information to make it concrete, represents already in itself a first step towards finalization.
The first step of which I satisfy myself for a while, by granting myself a “reward” in the form of a break, for example, before engaging in writing the next day.
Unquestionably, I could continue working because my ultimate goal of publications is not reached.
However, that would prevent me from accurately analyzing the impact of the work done so far, making me less efficient and blind in front of my need for personal tolerance.
Forgiving yourself these little moments of sloppiness is not bad, it is quite the contrary!
What you need to allocate to yourself is this option not to do too much, to settle for being already on the right road.
Feel free to reward yourself in a material way: offer yourself a small meal at the restaurant after a hard day of work, buy yourself something that would make you happy.
Afford yourself everything that could break the monotony related to a competitive spirit and eager for achievement.
4. Forgive yourself by analyzing your personal journey
It is vital to take advantage of every obstacle you encounter, to avoid sinking in the constant challenge of your qualities.
Whether it makes your task harder, longer or off-putting, say to yourself that dealing with problematic situations makes you grow. Forgiving yourself, is also recognizing the challenge, integrating it as personal motivation.
Do not be too hard on yourself because you made a mistake or were less productive.
It is part of the game and must instead, allowing you to grant more importance to what you have managed to accomplish.
Rather than lamenting, you must seek objectivity in such situations. Ask yourself what you can learn from the obstacle presented to you, and how you can integrate its resolution in your future reasoning to prevent its occurrence.
This will allow you to develop a much largest faculty of adaptation, and finding new sources of satisfaction.
In summary, the ability to forgive yourself is this reasoning that allows you to recognize the quality and importance of the conducted work, even before being finalized or bearing its fruits.
Time is certainly an asset that everyone misses, but personal growth involve your ability to recognize your intrinsic value and consider your progress as successes in itself.
Do not demand too much of you, you are not a machine. Remember that perfection is not of this world and that trying to get closer to it is more than enough to achieve personal fulfillment.
So repeat after me: it is time to forgive my shortcomings and mistakes, because, after all, we are only human!