We live in a world made of interactions, exchanges, and information sharing.
Socialization and the development of interpersonal skills seem to be a prerequisite for personal fulfillment.
These phenomena rely on our communication. Therefore, it is necessary to update the means at our disposal to convey the clearest messages, the more loaded with meaning, to promote our adaptation to our environment.
It is there where non-verbal communication emerges.
Indeed, far from what you might imagine, non-verbal communication is the biggest part of your means of expression.
Over 80% of the message you deliver does indeed require no concrete formulation.
Impressive right? To magnify the trait, it means that your social skills do not rely on your dialogue with others, but rather on the way you share your ideas and your attitude in general.
Conscious or not, you are therefore facing a real problem: how to improve your relationship using your body language? This is what we propose to study together.
1. The components of non-verbal communication
Before starting to develop our reasoning, we naturally should define what is non-verbal communication. In fact, it includes several phenomena, each one more important than the other, which reveal your state of mind and emotions that motivate you.
Non-verbal communication and body position:
If this seems obvious, your body position says a lot about your psychology of the moment. Therefore, it is important to know what image you send to sharpen it and adapt it to your environment.
Nobody wants to appear stressed or closed during a job interview or conversely too casual or disinterested in a meeting that could result in the emergence of mechanisms of seduction.
In this way, simple gestures as the fact of crossing your arms or legs reveal a closed face to the world around you, a curved back shows a state of submission and a lack of accountability and a static position during dialogue, the rejection of interaction and the weight of the discussion.
If these postures are mostly unwittingly adopted, all you need is to compare your non-verbal communication when you talk to your friends (in a relaxed, warm climate) with your behavior to grasp the issues.
Non-verbal communication and eye contact:
Do not they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul? There is some truth in this. Your gaze is a powerful tool of your non-verbal communication. Did you know for example that a “normal” eye contact lasts about three seconds?
The longer it will be considered “interested” and shorter, it will affirm your lack of confidence in yourself and your fear of being judged by your audience.
A person whose eyes are fleeing or focused on the details of his environment rather than on the actors interaction thus sends a corrupted message that highlights a lack of interpersonal skills.
Likewise, a stare upwards shows a lack of listening and a tendency to look to his left manifestation of lies and concealment.
Non-verbal communication through movement and motivation:
Each movement, according to its rhythm and amplitude, returns a different message.
People under pressure or anxious will tend to make jerky movements, repetitive and fast while a person quite comfortable, take his time and do not try to fill his discomfort in a gestural manner.
Take the example of a party. Watch the first alone person you will notice.
How does he react? He constantly carries his glass to his lips, taking sips? If so, do you think he is really thirsty or unconsciously this pretext allows him to keep his composure?
The importance of tone and voice volume in non-verbal communication:
So okay, voice drives by definition the formulation of words, and these are apparently related to verbal language.
However, the pronunciation and the range of your voice, in turn, are parts of your body language. Again, your psychology is reflected in your speech.
A quavering voice, barely audible and a rapid speech mark a state of anxiety while the control of breathing, the clear tone, and a perfect pronunciation are the evidence of an assumed social personality.
Non-verbal communication and facial expressions:
Probably the most explicit of the messages sent to your audience, your facial expressions should evidently be adapted to the situation. No need to draw you a picture.
Frowning mark dissatisfaction or calling into question to the current exchange, lopsided smiles a lack of interest or even seriousness, and biting your lip some discomfort.
Conversely, the open smile and eyes wide open translate your openness and empathy towards your audience.
2. non-verbal communication as a demonstration of one’s confidence
It is often said that the best communicators, or at least the best people socially, are those with a certain charisma. Given what we have just stated, it is clear that their non-verbal communication reflects these traits.
To control your non-verbal communication, awareness is required. Ask yourself why you make a move and limit yourself to a minimum.
Force yourself to look at people in the eye and always speak slowly and calmly. The collective judgment matter little, indeed, it evolves as and when you manage to demonstrate your interpersonal skills.
Self-confidence and charisma are not innate traits. They must be worked and grown every day before counting them among your natural reflexes.
3. Some practical exercises to refine your non-verbal communication
Some workouts repeated as often as possible, allow you to control the messages sent by your body.
– Control your posture: for this, it is enough to think to always hold yourself upright and head high. Be proud of who you are and do not pay attention to prying eyes.
Adopt an open position and approach one interlocutor to talk to him directly and show him your desire to interact, without forgetting to smile.
If you are sitting, lean back slightly against your back and stretch your legs to affirm your personal space.
– Your gaze must be consistent: if you are a little shy, just get out in the street and look at people in the eye until they look away (avoiding those that might seem threatening is obvious. I advise you to perform the operation with the opposite sex).
The repetition of this exercise should make you realize that you do not have to doubt of yourself, and you too can impress the assembly.
– Be alert and channel your energy: nobody wants to talk to an individual who seems nervous and unable to control his body.
All the little things you might do to fill a vacuum must be avoided: do not play with your lighter, your rings, your hair, the straw of your glass or any other object.
Take time to make time. Relax and always think about the motivation of your every move before you make them. This will allow you not to react like an electric battery.
– Work on your voice and your breathing: to ensure that the tone of your voice and its scope reflect the confidence and affirmation of yourself, you can perform a breathing exercise.
Inhale and block the air in your belly rather than at your lungs. Then it is at the time of expiry that you can pronounce the words that aim to hit your target.
This way you will avoid any shaking and will aggravate the tone of your speech.
The body language is essential to develop your interpersonal skills. It is present in all interactions both personal and professional and allows you better to express your desires, your needs, your desires.
The fact to be aware of it and to constantly pay attention to it helps you enhance your image communicating a concrete way to gain legitimacy and undermine the eyes of others.
And you, how would you rate your non-verbal communication? Your body language is open? Closed ? He demonstrates your confidence?